Previous Entry Share Next Entry
I know that starting over is not what life's about.
starting over
Some days I think I'm getting it together, that it's going to be alright. The rest of the days, though, are consumed by a crushing loneliness that I can't seem to shake until I'm on my fourth beer and the bar is so loud I can't hear my own thoughts. I see friendships being formed around me-- quite literally around me, as if I were a talking piece of furniture to navigate past-- and I'm left wondering what about me is broken so that I can't make these connections.

I had a nice idea of my life here, one that wooed me to stay, of you and me and a cute little apartment and my funny little cat and a good group of friends and a good job and adventures to go on and picnics in the park. Life and love and friends and family. But now-- always-- I'm watching it slip through my fingers, and the crushing loneliness creeps back in, and I just wonder how long I should keep pretending.

  • 1
I'm pretty sure you transcribed that first paragraph from my brain. What a cool trick!

Twinkles to that, yo. Alone in a crowd is the worst sort of alone.

I'll be at Howlers on Sat- how's about we have a drink and catch up? I didn't get to talk to you much when I saw you last.

  • 1

Log in

No account? Create an account